


Between My Pages

by hey0rph3us



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:40:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25682947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hey0rph3us/pseuds/hey0rph3us
Summary: Had he been asked years ago he would have said that if he were a book he would had be nothing short of a tragedy bound in hair-thin binding, with tattered, crumbling pages and dark prose written with darker ink. A feeling of distress and isolation would be placed securely in every other line. He would be a melancholy book better left tucked away on some far up shelf than to be opened and read by anyone.Now - well, now he couldn't say he felt that same way at all.
Relationships: Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise/Kirishima Touka
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	Between My Pages

Kaneki has always had a restless mind but at least now he is thankful that its not always horrible thoughts that bounce around inside his skull. His feelings of self-loathing were nearly non-existent and the gruesome visions that once haunted him every time he closed his eyes were now often kept at bay as well. 

When he thinks back on where he started to where he is now he feels disjointed, almost misplaced but in a good way. 

Had he been asked years ago he would have said that if he were a book he would had be nothing short of a tragedy bound in hair-thin binding, with tattered, crumbling pages and dark prose written with darker ink. A feeling of distress and isolation would be placed securely in every other line. He would be a melancholy book better left tucked away on some far up shelf than to be opened and read by anyone.

Now - well, now he couldn't say he felt that same way at all. 

This new book - this new him still wouldn't have been a perfect fairytale book with a cover that was bright and enchanting. Instead, it would have been inconspicuous, dressed in a neutral color and with a standard, non-fancy font as if saying to anyone who viewed it "I'm nothing special". But to those who would bother to look inside? Inside would be a bit of everything. An engaging mixture of events and people, of themes and tribulations. Within its pages would be a story of humor and friendship, happiness and loneliness, despair, hatred, war, and peace. Of loss and love. 

It wouldn't be a tragedy, at least no wholly. It would be a book of life and all the good and bad things that accompanied it. It would be his life.

Kaneki thinks of this for a bit as he marvels silently at how right Touka's hand feels in his own, and for how grateful he is of that. Grateful to find the hand he was meant to hold and that she wanted to be by his side regardless of everything. He muses silly, would the Kaneki Ken in chapter 12 have ever thought he would end up in this situation, in this spot, next to the love of his life? Probably not. Life sometimes held some wonderful surprises. 

His mind continues to work over every little detail of this moment. Like how her warm hand felt in his. Her hand was small and soft and delicate but he stayed vigilant to never to let himself be fooled by this. After all, she was the central character in the book that was his life, and he knew better than anyone just how strong and resilient she was. 

Idly, he brushed his calloused thumb along her knuckles, pausing briefly at her ring finger. Kaneki thinks to himself about how he knew she had said she didn't need a ring to wear, and that he was enough for her. And be that as it may, that was said during the difficult times. Back when there was so much to worry about things both inside and outside the ward. Now that things had slowed down, he thinks plottingly, now would be a good time to...

"Why are you looking like that? What are you thinking about?" Touka bulldozes through his thoughts, eying him suspiciously but not unkindly. Mostly she seemed amused. He had been rubbing the same spot on her hand for some time. 

Looking up from her slim fingers, he takes a brief moment to take in her appearance. She was the same Touka she was months ago, except not really. Her hair is currently bed-messy and had been hastily pulled into a high bun. She wore pajamas adorned with bunnies and carrots on them. Her face was still a bit pale and splotchy from her recent vomiting fit. Her eyes were red and puffy but not from her kakugan but due to only moments ago having cried her little hormonal heart out over the fact that the baby bassinet she had wanted was out of stock. And then there was the matter of her stomach. Her once toned and fit belly was now swollen almost comically so on her diminutive frame. 

And despite or maybe because of all this she was easily the most beautiful person he ever saw. 

He took a moment to let out a loving sigh before grinning at her, his smile unrestrained and eyes warm because with her there was no need to hold back his happiness or his sorrow. With her, he is free to be himself, for better or worse. 

With a teasing lilt in his voice, one he knows will stroke her curiosity as much as it will her ire he says "Me? Oh, nothing at all." 

She's instantly annoyed, eyebrows furrowing. When his Touka-chan teased she simply insulted him. When Kaneki teased her he dangled something in front of her face tauntingly, hoping her curious nature would get the better of her and she'd pester him until he blabbed. Well, pestering may not be the right word. Kaneki did it because he loved the attention, even if it's borne out of frustration, that Touka would give to him in those moments. 

"I'm not gonna ask, asshole," she pouts, obviously disgruntled he's keeping something from her but not in the mood for their usual game today. 

For a moment he's disappointed but quickly lets it wash over him. "It's fine." He pulls her closer, enveloping her in his arms. As she leans against his chest - a perfect fit. Once she's settled comfortably he whispers into her ear mischievously "You'll know soon enough." Touka groans at his obvious bait but restrains herself from demanding to know what he has up his sleeves.

For once that is all fine and well to Kaneki. A man was allowed to have his secrets, if only momentarily. 

Touka may have owned his heart but she didn't have to know every little thought that ran through his mind.

Touka didn't have to know that tomorrow he would head out of their temporary apartment under the guise of getting meat from Yomo only in the end to make a detour to Tsukiyama's in order to ask him for help at picking out an appropriate ring for his wife. Maybe he'd even get a little necklace so they could have matching chains as well. That way they could both wear their rings over their hearts.

Touka didn't have to know that the other night when it was too still and too quiet he had thought back to his date with Rize with a "what-if" mindset only to quickly realize that he would gladly go down the same dangerous path a million times over if it meant he would have the friends and loves ones he had now. If it meant he would have Touka. The acknowledgment had seized at his heart so perfectly that it had caused him to breakdown into a sobbing mess with the enormity of it. Touka didn't need to know that was the reason she had awoken to him crying, not because of whatever lame excuse he had given her. 

And lastly, Touka didn't need to know that he secretly wanted at least one or two or three more children with her. Everyone's confidence in this pregnancy was the highest it had ever been and Kaneki couldn't help but fantasize about a small but comfy home on the edge of the city, the paint peaceful but bright. A home in which he and Touka could raise their babies. And maybe even a bunny. Or two. Or three - one for each child at the very least. No, she definitely didn't need to know that right now given how every day was a struggle for her to keep this current baby healthy and thriving within her. If she knew he was already hoping for more she'd probably smack him. Smack him and then kiss him because she was just as hopelessly in love with this little unborn life as he was and would probably easily consider more. 

Kaneki knew without a doubt that Touka would be a wonderful mother. 

As Kaneki placed his hand over Touka's stomach he felt as if he were being filled with emotions that would only grow more palpable in the near future. Children. Family. Home. Love. 

Kissing his wife he thinks to himself that his book will have a very long epilogue. 


End file.
